Toddler tantrums

Childrens tantrums - have you experienced any? What are your tips and thoughts? Here are a few I found on some sites, do you agree?

The period of defiance starts from around 21-23 months up to 4 years. During this time, children and their moods change like the weather. It is during this period, that it is very important for kids to learn how to say ''no'', and building their own personality. They will keep testing the boundaries, as a form of affirming their independence. However, they will not fully understand a lot of these restrictions or their own sense of self-control.

How to handle such situations as a parent?

1. If possible, avoid conflict. This is not to say let your kids do anything they want as there will always be clear boundaries, but rather if possible anticipate the clashes. 

2. Let your kids have the opportunity to choose and decide about things, that are not important to you. The greatest art is to find the right balance between when to step back and when to step in. For eg, if your child doesn't want to use the life, you could reply ''OK, let's walk''. The next time, you could ask ''Do you want to take the lift or walk?''. Or, the common scenario of children not wanting to wear what you have laid out - put out 2-3 trousers and jumpers on the bed so that they can choose.

3. Don't raise your voice/shout, or display anger.  

4. If your child is very angry, make sure to remove anything that they could hurt themselves with and either wait until the anger dissipates, try some distraction or sometimes ot helps with a big hug holding them tight.

5. If your child raises up the bar, and start hitting or kicking, hold their hands/legs and look them straight in the eys and in a firm, decisive tone tell them not to.

6. Teach them how to, little by little, ask for what they want. In this way, asking them what they want or do not like, they can learn that rather than beng angry or crying, they can talk about it.

7. Explain, explain, explain. When the heat of the moment has gone, choose your right moment to return to the topic over which there was a clash and talk about it.

8. Talk to them like with partnerships. This does not mean letting the, get everything they want, but how we communicate that matters. 

All of this requires a lot of patience, understanding and consistency. Fingers crossed for all Mums and Dads 🙂